ARROW-GUN!

Hey call me!

NatashaClaradora — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 07:19:32 -0700

Don't wait for me to come back cause it will take such a long time for that to happen. Oh Miracle Oh Glory.

Alerion, I love you baby

NatashaClaradora — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:27:32 -0800

I'm going on hiatus again until everything's over.

I'm tired of every mistakes I did.

I'm always wrong, but you're never right.

I swear you're never right.

http://gloireglory.blogspot.com/

This Life is Fragile

NatashaClaradora — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:31:43 -0800

What a shame we all became such fragile broken things, a memory remains, just a tiny spark. I give it all my oxygen, so let the flames begin, so let the flames begin, oh glory, oh glory! This is how we'll dance when, when they try to take us down. This is what will be, oh glory. Somewhere weakness is our strength and I'll die searching for it. I can't let myself regret such selfishness. My pain and all the trouble cause no matter how long, I believe that there's hope buried beneath it all and hiding beneath it all and growing beneath it all. Reaching as I sink down into life. This is how we'll stand when, when they burn our houses down! This is what will be, oh glory.

Oh glory~ I love Paramore more than words. Zomg I'm totally in love. I don't mind not having a boyfriend as long as there's Paramore! Cause they fill up my hartx. Oh my god, I'm totally obsessed with Paramore. True that. Okay suddenly I'm speechless. I'm gonna go update my tumblr again after this. After blogging on OnSugar.

Oh my god, I'm missing Farah Anati so much. Hasn't been talking to her for the whole of today. Yesterday we talked a bit then she said she don't want to be my friend anymore cause I don't wanna share my problem with her. I'm sorry okay, love :'( I need some space to be alone sometime. I know you understand me okay! Me lurv you a lot. Wait, I don't know when is my bestfriend's birthday O.o

Oh some unexpected things happened today. Which I totally hate. Really really hate to the max. One of my classmate told me she was in a bad mood. Okay fine. Then suddenly she yelled at me when I was asking or her something. I was obviously shocked and sad. Cause I've trusted her and knew she won't be rude at me cause I respect her. But yeah, I was suddenly speechless and went silent throughout the day. Farah Hildayu realised it, tho. And asked me why I was silent, so I told her. I'm still sad. But that classmate of mine, was happily talking to the other classmates when she told me she was in a bad mood. Then why ignore me? Did I do something wrong? If it's me talking about my crush 24 hrs, then I'm sorry. But srsly, I don't think I deserved to be ignored. You apologised, I have no idea what I should do.

Man school was okay tho despite my classmate stuff. Finally common test is over. I can partay now. Okay partay during Sec 3 camp and Paramore's concert. That. Is awsum. I think Mathematics was okay~ History, no, hard, very. Cause I didn't study. Surely Mr Bambang would get angry. I'm sorry :'( Oh did I told you, someone from 3 tech asked me to be his girlfriend? But I rejected cause I don't think he looks good hahaha. Plus I don't like him and never will. Okay sorry, I pass. You deserve someone better. Can you sense any sarcasm here? Hehe right.

I'm so gonna buy Paramore stuffs on Sunday cause I've been saving money and hopefully, it's enough to buy one thing. One thing with the name Paramore on it will do. Erm, am I losing you? If I am, please don't cause I don't want to. Okay bye I'm gonna go to my Tumblr with full of Paramore's pictures. Bye. Oh lastly, FML! Totally addicted to FML.

You've got me smiling in my sleep

NatashaClaradora — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 00:24:10 -0800

I can't make my own decision or make any with precision, well maybe you should tie me up so I don't go where you don't want me. You said that I've been changing that I'm not just simply aging. Yeah, how could that be logical? Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat. You don't have to believe me, but the way I way I see it, next time you point a finger I might have to bend it back or break it break it off. Next time you point a finger, I'll point you to the mirror. If god's the game that we're playing, well we must get more acquainted because it has to be so lonely, to be the only one whose holy. It's just my humble opinion but it's one that I believe in, you don't deserve a point of view, if the only thing you see is you~

Wow, I'm going head over heels for Paramore as each days past. They just rocks a whole lot. Oh my god I love Paramore a lot! Okay so today, exam was okay. Chemistry was okay afterall, I still hate Physics tho. POA was easy too. Lessons as per normal and after school, went home right away since I have nothing to do in school. Went home and sister was already home, using the laptop. Fine, so I thought of sleeping but I can't sleep. Lots of things were going thru my mind at that point of time. So used the laptop when sister was sleeping. Mum decided to go IMM, so I just tagged along since brother rent a car.

Tomorrow papers are Mathematics and History, gosh I srsly can't wait for Maths paper, I have no idea why. Hehe sexiting ohmygod. And for History, I'm still afraid cause I know I'm gonna fail and I suck at History. K whutever. I'm sorry if there's spelling error in my post today cause I'm not looking at the keyboard when I was typing. I was watching tv, this one Malay horror movie, Santau. Gosh it's awsum. If only someone's here to accompany me. I would be hugging that person tightly. HAHA okay I'm going off now. Good luck for tomorrow papers, people.

You curse me like shit also I'll ignore you cause I've got no time to entertain guys who wanna fight with girls. They're so gay! :O

I ♥ Paramore

NatashaClaradora — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:53:45 -0800

Shikin, Mary & Fliq, let's countdown to Paramore's concert! 7 days left. Oh my god, I still can't believe I got Paramore's ticket. Oh my god and next week there's Sec 3 Adventure Camp. Isn't it awsum? Wait, is it even next week? And I think I said too much Oh My God already. And oh recently, things have been pretty good for me (Y) Tomorrow's Qad and brother's I dunno how many years anniv. and Aedit and Amy's too. Hmmm..

2 days ago, which was Friday, went to meet my brother's gf at Lot 1 to buy the Paramore ticket :/ Oh my god. After that went to walk around Lot 1 while waiting for brother to fetch us and fetch family from home too. Then, we went somewhere to eat. I can't stop starring at those adorable cute sexiting tickets, I didn't even eat anything! Thanks a lot, Qad I lurv yew. After family's done eating, I went to buy MP3 and it's orange. No red, how sad. Went home~ Download songs for my new MP3, oh it's really kiuute (Y) My MP3 is my new sleeping partner. Ooh sounds so wrong O.o

And yesterday, Saturday, went to meet FarahSemot, Yasmin (Amir's), Shahirah and Iffah to study at Jurong East library. Before that I actually don't feel like like going out cause all my cousins came to my house. Not a gathering uh, it's just, urm.. They came here to go to Malaysia together. I guess my family's totally obsessed with Malaysia huh, but not me :) I'm so sick of Malaysia. So I waited for Iffah for more than 10 minutes! Oh my god, kill me please. Ariff saw me and he kicked my leg, what the fell. Luckily I didn't fall _|_ So reached library, I thought Farah brought her little siblings along with her, but she only brought Yasmin :( Okay. After studying, Shahirah Iffah and I went to IMM to eat very hungary yknow. Okay too tired to continue cause today's very boring, how like that :(

Now is 5.37am. And I can't sleep. No one's accompanying me, I'm sitting here, blogging, all alone. No music. Nothing. Oh what's worst, I'm giving up on hardcore. It seems like everything is the same, the beat, the screams.. I dunno, everything. I find it boring now :/ Oh my god, what's happening to me! Hehe but nevermind, I'll still go to Lyssa's Requiem's gig once in a while. Holy shiat I miss Lyssa's Requiem so much :( I shouldn't have blogged today and still go on hiatus. I can't resist blogging haha what the fell. (Y)

Oh to my friend(s) who sent me the "Friends are like colour pencils, they colour our lives, I may not be your favourite colour, but hope you will need me some where to complete your pictures." Srsly, I'm touched and I'm not sure why. You guy(s) are everything I need. Okay now I realise something. Friends are always there for me but I don't really treasure them at times because of my mood swings. Now I won't have the mood swing shit anymore okay. I'm gonna be happy forever and ever~ Aww I sungguh touched sekali dengan message tersebut!

Why bring up the things that are already over? Look, the cousins are already over this. Why are you still talking about this? You blamed me for not being able to get my cousin, blame all you want cause I know she deserves better. Not some guy who told her "I hate you" through text messages. No guts to say it right in her face, I believe. Also not some guy who blamed her for everything and not appreciate the little things she did. You always wanted to be the one who is right. So why not tell everyone "I am always right, don't go against me or I'll blame you and tell you that I hate you through a text message and feel good about it." And when I fight with your friend, you've got no rights to tell me who is right or wrong. You're no one and I didn't ask you to be the center person. Stop being busybody, it's really none of your fucking business. You called me mean, I can never give a damn about it. Haha I didn't know there's still such gays on Earth.

So, should I go on hiatus again?
Will you miss me? ;D

Well, Aren't You Insignificant?

NatashaClaradora — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 05:39:22 -0800

Hey people, firstly I would like to apologise for not being myself the past few days by saying all those things in Italic. It's so not me to say those kind of stuffs. I don't even know why I started saying those things in my blog, okay whatever. Secondly, this is the last post before I'm going for hiatus. I don't know how long I'm gonna go away but still, quite a long time. Few weeks maybe? I don't know.

Gah, common test coming in a few more days. To be exact, 2 more days. God help me, please. Like come on, every teachers are now rushing to finish up the very last chapter for common test. Give me more time, don't torture me this way :'( Oh I've got great news, I passed my Mathematics class test, for the second time! Not the first time, people. Sorry. Not celebrating, anyway, but still, I'm freaking happy I passed, I rock a lot!

Anyway, I would like to thank Farah Anati the Indie girl for everything. You're the most nicest, bestest, sexiest, cutest, prettiest and everything plus orgasm-est chick I've ever met. Farah is what I meant by a true friend. She's there for me whenever I need her. Farah, thanks for telling me what I should know. I'll try to be myself now alright? Seriously, I really thank god for giving me a friend like you. None of my friends kissed me before, you're the first. My cheeks very clean before this Haha. Okay you're the sweetest.

Be gone cause I'm going away.

Open Your Eyes Like I Opened Mine

NatashaClaradora — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 03:17:35 -0800

I'm gonna shut the fuck up now and stop having a crush. Cause it suck when someone don't appreciate the little things you do. The little things I did should be taking you over. Uh nevermind, srsly there's no use explaining everything now. What is true and is a fact is that I'm a FAILURE. I know I've said before that no matter what happened, I know I'm not a failure. But something proved me wrong just now. Despite Faizal telling me a lot of times that I'm not a failure, I still think I am. What more do I have to do, a failure will always remain as a failure.

Okay that's it. I'm gonna start nagging blabbering shits and think negatively here. You don't like you either go away or you shut up, I don't need comments. What is my blog for? It's for me to write what I feel, to share my happy/sad moments and to write down the memorable moments. My blog, my say. Whatever I wanna say, that's my fucking problem. You have no fucking right to say what I'm doing in my blog is totally wrong cause everything's right. Yes, I used to be love drunk but now holy crap, love is shit. Life is hard and love makes it even tougher. I'm totally against love. Why is it that everything that I do is a stupid thing for you? Crap I sacrificed my all _|_

Whutever me is gonna stay single until 68, and if I'm still alive after 68, I would kill myself, jump off from a building. Your block maybe? So I could hunt you all night long when you're having sex. You, the one who made my life a very miserable one. So Azura, this is what I'm gonna do. Be with me, please? :) And fo sho, I ain't desperate. I just hate how people are using me. Fuck you. You look for me whenever you've got no friends. What do you think I am? Your part-time friend? Seriously there's no need to be nice to me if you hate me, drop the fucking act you gave me, fucker.

Don't give me false hope, fake compliments whereby you don't mean it and just say it for the sake of saying cause you want me to be there when you need me. You're making use of me, don't think I can't see it. So much for being nice to every single one of you, assholes. I don't mind being alone in school and everyone hates me. So what? At least I'm accepting the fact that everyone hates me. Not like some bitches, pretend like nothing happened and desperately went to look for a friend, no matter how bad they are to you before this. Your vagina just burst, you daughter of a bastard.

SCREW YOU, DICKHEADS!

Oh the blood, oh the blood, oh the massacre!

NatashaClaradora — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:08:24 -0800

Yknow whut? I give up. Why? Because I'm hungry :(

Dear epic failure,

Why won't you show hatred right in my face? By showing it right in my face is the most perfect thing to do cause by then you yourself will know what my attitude is like. I bet people like you, or should I say a girl like you, has no fucking guts at all. It's irritating. I know everyone talks behind someone's back before. But if you were to do it to an extend which makes me go out of control already, seriously there's no use apologising already. I don't care who you are. My classmate or my bestfriend or the person I usually hang out with, I'm so gonna hate you and I won't like you no more. The truth is, I don't trust any bitches from my school anymore, except for a few, of course, which is my classmates. :P

The only three people that I love with my whole heart is Allah, family and classmates. That's it. Why should I be friends with someone that I can't trust? Why should I share secrets with some girls and let them spread my secret to the whole school? Seriously, drop the act. Stop being nice to me just to know all of my secrets. I'm sure about this, you just wanna be me. Epic enough huh. You just failed.

I feel like headbanging to my onsugar's music, damn. Should have went to Total Chaos 2 just now.

All I Wanted was You

NatashaClaradora — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 10:09:22 -0800

I stopped listening to you everytime I got to know the others. But as soon as I realise, you're in my heart and soul. You compose great music with meaningful lyrics. Paramore stand out from any other band that I listen to. They're the most awsum and the bestest band with the most amazing vocalist ever, Hayley Williams. It really hurts not to be able to go to their concert. I've always wanted them to come to Singapore. But when they're coming in a few weeks time, I can't go. I sad, yknow! But Hayley's hair is as short as mine. Me luvv you many many, Hayley. I like I like Paramore!

I'm glad I'm friends again with Adhha. His "apology accepted" message woke me up yesterday morning. I seriously didn't know what's wrong with him at that time. He was saying some weird stuffs I dunch know. So went to school, hoping that it's gonna rain, it did rained but not as heavy as I wanted it to be. But at least god granted my wish :P I wish for things once in a while okay. Usually I try to achieve things I want by myself. And I'm proud. Lul. Assemble in class since it was raining Nurul and Natasha :P

PE teacher didn't come but we still have to run 4 rounds around the school. But I walked 2 rounds with my classmates as I don't wanna sweat. You'll confirm stink when you sweat whut. But no choice, floorball must sweat. Mati. Okay, I don't know why nowadays I'm so hyper during English lessons. I got sweets from Ms Lim just now, Thank you many many lah. Me luvvv you. After that was Maths, one period, so it was okay, quite fun :) It was recess, oh I saw the guy I like, very cute like me, hehe. Happynya I!

Did karangan during ME since Mr Krieger was talking about his lessons. He needed feedbacks, suggestions and stuff cause most of his students said he needs to be a little bit strict. I didn't rush when I did my karangan :P MT was next, didn't really study. When the lesson ended, went back to class to take Math test which ended up to be our homework. Wasted my 1 hr sitting in the class, thinking real hard. Haha hardworking huh ^^ After that went to change for floorball. Okay I don't wanna talk anything about school already. I'm going away~

Systematic

NatashaClaradora — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:20:13 -0800

Where did you guys disappear to? Being so close to me and always there for me whenever I need you guys. Everyone's so busy arranging their own life now. I, myself, don't really have time for my own friends. I've neglected Yasmin and she ended up with some chinese girl. I really do pity her. Because of me, she has to suffer. I'm the cause of everything. I'm not trying to blame myself for everything but this is really what I feel.

People don't seem to know how to differentiate when I'm joking or being serious. A friend, came up to me telling me that she doesn't know when I'm joking and being serious. Seriously, I'm shocked. I don't really use all this comma, fullstop, question mark shit while I'm chatting. So maybe that complicates most of my friends. Which also leads to some fights.

Adhha, I'm really sorry if my words on you were so harsh. I swear I was kidding. I thought you do know when I'm joking and when I'm not. I want us to be friends like before. Very very close friends. I don't want us to hate each other just because of some little things. I seriously didn't know I hurt you. You should've told me. You know you mean so much to me. I don't wanna lose a friend that is so so special like you. Really :'( I'm sad.

My dearest sister, Fliq, I know things have been pretty hard for you, sayang. But no matter what's gonna happen, I'm gonna stand by your side. We're gonna go through those thick and thin, hard and enjoyable times together. I promise you, I won't let anyone hurt you deeply ever again. It hurts me seeing you hurt this way. Crying every single night. I really wish to be with you 24 hours. Hug you whenever you need me. Listen to your problems and find the way out from that problem and all. But I can't. We're busy with our own schedules. We hardly see each other at home, too, cause you always come home late :'( I really miss seeing your smile, listening to your laughter and looking at your happy eyes. Easy said, you're happy, I'm happy. You're sad, I'm sad. You're really my everything, kakak. I love you so much <3

And my lovely cousin, Shikin, things have been hard for you, too. I know this wasn't what you wanted, but you had to do this for your own good. You know you got cheated, so why must you still stay with him and share your secrets with him when you know he can't be trusted? Yeah well, maybe he did helped you a lot. But who knows he helped you because he wanted something in return? Your love. No, I'm not tryna influence you or anything. I'm just stating facts. I really hope you'll be happy cause life's still a long way to go. Why in love nao? HEYKEL! Haha :)